somewhere over the rainbow

The title is a little misleading, though. I’m not homosexual. The rainbow does not apply to me despite it being one of the most prominent signs relating to the LGBT+ community.

I guess it has been awhile since I have updated here, so there are a lot of information that hasn’t been relaid and updated.

I’m not sure exactly why I’m doing this – relaying and updating – since no one is reading this I’m sure, but I am anyway. Why not? Right? What am I afraid of? Becoming famous later on in life and fear hordes of fans finding this blog post and know me?


No way.

Well, anyway, onto the real updates that are important.

I came out to my father – over text. It was a weird conversation because he thought I was a lesbian. I’m not. I’m gynesexual, which is why I’m attracted to Mitch Grassi. Though, even though I told him I’m the T of LGBT, I don’t think he understands what that is in depth.

He still keeps telling me not to do certain things, hinting that it’s not fit for a girl. I don’t understand. My parents are just ignoring what I’m telling them. It’s been five years since I found out, there’s no way it’s still a “phase.”

Talking about ignoring my gender, my mother is the one keen on misgendering me even though I told her first. She recently became more aggressive with that weapon – keeps calling me her daughter, sister, things like that. I hate it. Why would she purposefully ignore something I have shown an extreme dislike against? It’s like she wants me to suffer.

And she doesn’t understand that the pressure from this is enough to make me feel like my life is not worth living. My view on my life is no longer important. The talk of death is so easy and even though I’m a firm believer that people often would go against what they say they will do if the time comes when the time comes, I honestly don’t think I’ll fight back if I am in a life or death situation.

The only reason why I’m still walking and breathing and existing is because I don’t want them to misgender me on the news. Just let me rest in peace.

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