the universe in your eyes

Let’s talk about Universities┬ásince we’re on the topic of school, shall we?

I know nothing about them.

I wasn’t informed, after being put through school blindly as a child. I was left to wander around on my own and do what the teachers say.

All of a sudden, I was informed that there would be a thing called a DSE, which I would have to take in order to get through to a University, local or overseas.

What the hell is a University? It’s just another school to learn things from. Is it so much more important only because I am now old enough to understand the weight of getting into an institution that I must pay to teach me?

A University is the only thing that stands between me and my future career because the University would kickstart it?

Creative Writing, SCAD.

I don’t even know how to apply for that school. Or, well, more accurately, I didn’t really make an effort to try. I put it off and off and off and eventually it’s too late. I shouldn’t have. It looked like an okay school.

It’s just too close to home and I’m not sure if I can go interview in person if it’s required of me. I think that’s why I dodged it and kept ‘forgetting.’

I’m sorry. The school looked great and the course summary seemed fun.

English with Creative Writing, Falmouth University.

The Doctor who interviewed me is the sweetest person I have and will ever meet. She told me a lot of stuff I needed to know and now that I had a day or two to sit through the memory of the Skype interview, I think it went okay. Much better than I thought I would have given the short amount of time I prepared.

The only regret I have is that I didn’t get to tell her I was trans, at least verbally. She might have gotten that from context clues.

Besides, she told me that there are a lot of students who are trans* and non-binary in her course, and a student of her – Ben, I think she said his name was – got picked as one of the ten students to be part of some competition to get their novel published. And his novel is about some sexuality that Dr. Downing has no idea what is about.

That seems very cool and inspiring. I told her as much and she giggled and said that’s why she thought I might like it.

If I don’t get in, I will forever feel something missing in my soul.

I probably won’t, given that I didn’t know how to answer her question regarding text types that I haven’t tried that have been showcased on the course’s introduction page. I didn’t read them, that’s why.

I ended up glossing over naming certain types – I did, however, try a lot more than just writing fiction and non-fiction like this blog post. I wrote scripts before, a TV script, and a play script. The only script I haven’t tried my hand at is a radio script – and just said that I would try anything if given the set of rules or a hand to hold.

To be honest with you? I think that’s a very good save and I should have gotten mad points for being that good at winging things.

Graphic Design, Falmouth University.

It started out rocky – I missed his phone call the first time because I accidentally left my phone on Do Not Disturb. I didn’t get the notification and I got distracted by my computer (as usual). He left a very sad sounding voice message and it made me feel bad for missing his call.

“Ah, I’ll try again,” he said before abruptly cutting the message short. I tried calling him back, but my plan didn’t let me have outgoing calls for overseas, I could only take incoming ones. I thought I had to make a last minute reschedule because I haven’t really ever tried having a phone call with someone overseas, but then he called back and I was just a frantic mess.

Poor Ashley sounds so oddly unsure of himself.

Shameful that the interview is set at such a late time, 11:10 pm for me. I was a mess and was extremely tired. Turned into an angry rambling session than answering questions regarding graphic design. And my voice was the worst – I hate my voice normally, and I hadn’t been talking for at least an hour or so, so it was in the worst situation. I was barely able to answer his first question asking if I was [REDACTED].

But I guess it ended up okay. It’s still fresh in my mind and I don’t think I had any trouble answering his fist two – the important ones – questions, even if I did ramble.

These interviews kind of made me realize that westerners are much nicer than the Chinese. They smiled and they laughed and they listened. I haven’t had an interview for an actual University set in Hong Kong yet, but I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to stop and laugh for a second or two to lighten up the mood.

I thought interviews were supposed to be a conversation for your interviewer to get to know you more. Why is it such a serious occasion when a conversation and a way to get to know someone is something casual and lighthearted?

They made me happy. Even if I couldn’t get into Falmouth, at least I get the experience out of this – that westerners are much more kind and happy than the Chinese.

I haven’t heard from UEA, but I won’t start panicking now. I had more email conversations with them than Falmouth, but I don’t know how that would help. Do they even do interviews? I think they have to – most University does, right?

Once again, I’m ashamed by the limited knowledge I have of how University works.

Just dig a hole for me and I’ll lay down there and die. Don’t worry about me.

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