The Art of Minding Your Own Business

I always thought that staying in your lane is something everyone can and have always been doing, but I’ve been proven wrong time and time again.

Okay, I won’t ignore the elephant in the room. A lot of the current political views involve minding everyone else’s business even though it’s not really your jurisdiction to do so.

For example, abortions. So, what if someone wants to abort their kid? It literally does not affect you in any way, shape, or form. It’s almost a braindead argument at this point. Let other people do what they want to themselves or for themselves. It has no effects for you. Literally.

If abortions become safe and legal, and you are not the one carrying the unwanted child in your body, how does that affect you? This is a serious question, because I cannot fathom how it might ruin your world just because someone doesn’t want to suffer for nine months and then end up having to either give the kid up to an unknown future or raise them in an unsuitable environment. There are billions of other people living on earth, right now. Why don’t you spend the energy of wanting to bring more lives into the world and pour it into wanting to keep the existing lives in this world?

If abortions can be done safe and legally in every single inch of land on earth, you still have the option to keep the child if you are suddenly and/or unexpectedly begetting or carrying. No one is telling you to abort the child just because you didn’t plan it. You have equal rights to want to keep the child that you want as do others have the right to get rid of a child they did not ask for.

So, why is it that others constantly want to butt into others business and give unsolicited advice and judgement? Sure, if they ask you for help, you’re entitled to your opinions and you’re also given consent to give that opinion to the person, but if no one asked or prompted, then why do you feel the need to express such thoughts? Let others enjoy their lives and do what they want because, again, it does not affect you in any way, shape, or form.

I find it really, really, really hard to believe that minding your own business is as hard as others make it seem like it is. If someone does something I personally don’t like, I would simply look away. Or I’ll pretend they didn’t do it.

I am not talking about acts that deliberately (directly or indirectly) hurts or violates another living, thinking, sentient, breathing, and independent being.

There are, quite frankly, an unbelievable amount of advantages to minding one’s own business. Ever since I stopped caring about what others are doing, I have an immense amount of time to work on a better version of myself, as well as an overall healthier outlook on life. My mental health has improved, which in turn has helped with my self-confidence. I’m not a perfect person, but I like to think that every day, I wake up as a better version of who I was yesterday.

Who cares if someone I shared a seat with liked to hold hands with a person of the same sex? Who cares if this person on the Internet I shared two lines of pleasantries with identifies as a non-binary individual? What they like and who they identify as is none of my business, and it doesn’t really harm me in any way. I leave them alone, since that’s the most logical thing to do. Them being gay, or non-binary, or transgender, or any other thing that isn’t considered the “social norm” does not, in fact, hurt me. They are who they are and they aren’t going to infect me or pollute whatever group I’m in.

My biggest concern is when someone thinks another person’s action is a direct attack toward them and “their people.” How? How does a person’s mere existence pose such a large threat to who you are? Are the foundations of your group and/or your identity so fragile that another person, who does not associate with you or actively tries to dismantle you, just breathing could threaten to undo everything that you’ve done?

Perhaps people should stop focusing on what others do in their day-to-day life and just work on themselves. If being angry at another person’s actions or existence is the reason you wake up in the morning, you need a serious reconsideration of all your life choices.

I wonder if it’s ever occurred to some people that a lot of people do things for themselves, rather than others. No, you’re right, transpeople get surgery because they are all secret porn stars and they need the perfect body to sell to others so that they can make the most bang for their buck. Obviously. How stupid it is to think that transpeople get surgery because they want to have a body that matches their mental image of themselves, so that they might wake up one day and look in the mirror and be completely comfortable with what they see?

When people wear make-up or an elaborate and elegant outfit, they do it to impress potential partners or tempt others to do Bad Thingsā„¢, not because they want to feel pretty and look nice for themselves. Certainly not because they want to look in the mirror and go, “Hey, I look nice and I feel confident in myself!”

(That was sarcasm, by the way.)

Sure, I think it’s okay to care once and a while if someone’s doing something that you think would cause harm to them or others around them, but I don’t think telling them that they’re betraying all of womenkind or they’re doing it for selfish reasons is the right approach. If you’re genuinely coming from a nice place with good intentions, then by all means, try and persuade them. If they don’t listen, maybe you’re not giving them a chance or the benefit of the doubt. Someone wants to take a risky but calculated move of dropping everything they have and immigrate to America? If your warnings of things might not ending up well for them falls on deaf ears, hear out what they have to say and then pat them on the back, wish them luck, and let them be on their merry way.

That’s just part of life. You can’t control everything. Not everything goes as planned. If someone does something you don’t like, just let it roll off like water off a duck’s back. Unless they are actively trying to take away your rights of, for example, expressing your thoughts on a governing group because they can’t handle criticism, then please complain and butt yourself into that discussion as hard as you can.

If it doesn’t directly affect you or anyone you care about personally, simply because you have the option of not doing the thing, then you should probably check yourself before you wreck yourself. Sometimes, or maybe most of the time, you being vehemently against something another person is doing probably stems from a lack of understanding in that area. (Once again, not talking about harmful substances, hateful actions, or trying to parade hate in the guise of “free speech.”)

Just move on. In the grand scheme of things, no one cares. You know what? In general, no one really cares. We’re all too busy minding our own damn business. Maybe you should try that sometime, too.

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